Definition

Meta-attraction (also called pseudo-bisexuality) is a concept from Blanchardian sexology (work building on the sexologist Ray Blanchard's typology of male-to-female transition) describing a pattern in which a person is attracted to others not for their own sake, but because being desired by them confirms a cross-sex self-image. It is "attraction through contrast" — the partner's gender and orientation matter because they make the person feel like the other sex.

The term was popularised by the writer Phil Illy in Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex (2023). Blanchard himself used "pseudo-bisexuality" to describe the pattern in autogynephilic males (those aroused by the idea of themselves as women) who report attraction to men: the attraction is not to the male body, but to the fantasy of being a woman desired by a man.

How It Works

Meta-attraction operates in both directions:

• In autogynephilic males: a man who is primarily attracted to women may develop apparent attraction to men because being desired by a man confirms his self-image as a woman. The man is not the object of desire — the fantasy of being a desirable woman is.
• In autoandrophilic females (those aroused by the idea of themselves as men): a woman who is primarily attracted to men may develop apparent attraction to women because being desired by a woman confirms her self-image as a man. Or she may be attracted to gay men because being desired by a gay man confirms her self-image as a man.

Illy, who uses autoheterosexual as an umbrella term for both patterns, describes this as meta-homosexuality: "With a same-sex partner, autoheterosexuals can play a cross-gender sex role: autoandrophilic females can be a man with a woman, and autogynephilic males can be a woman with a man. Much of the same-sex behavior seen among autoheterosexuals ultimately originates in meta-homosexuality."

The Blanchardian Claim

Blanchard argued that bisexuality in autogynephilic males is "pseudo-bisexuality" — not genuine attraction to male bodies, but attraction to the fantasy of being a woman with a man. He predicted that autogynephilic "bisexuals" would not be attracted to the male physique.

This prediction has been tested and contested. Veale, Clarke & Lomax (2008) found that among transsexual participants classified as autogynephilic, attraction to male physique correlated significantly with sexual attraction to males (ρ = .65) — comparable to non-autogynephilic transsexuals and biological females. This is at variance with Blanchard's prediction.

What Detransitioners Say

Detransitioners describe meta-attraction patterns from lived experience, often recognising them only after detransition.

• Attraction to men as a woman, not to men. "If I'm totally honest with myself I also would love to be with a man (as a woman). It may be internalized homophobia, but I just can't picture myself with a man as a man. I would have to be firmly in the 'female' role, in terms of perception and presentation, to enjoy it" (quoted in Hedera_Thorn, detrans male). Hedera_Thorn responds: "This isn't internalised homophobia, this is because you're not attracted to the man you're attracted to yourself as a woman with a man. This, again, is a very typical thing within autogynephilia."
• Desire for straight men, not gay men. "They want a straight relationship with a straight man even most of the time straight men would only want a biological woman... Its internalize homophobia all this time" (Entire-Construction1, questioning own gender identity).
• The fantasy is the point, not the partner. "I was really only interested in porn of guys who I perceived to be better than me in some way... What was getting me off was picturing myself in the role of a woman, which at first I interpreted as homosexuality and then later transgenderism, but now I just see it as major self esteem issues" (Lumpy_Atmosphere_924, detrans male).
• In females: attraction to gay men as a man. "I fetishized gay male relationships & sex after consuming a lot of romantic yaoi manga... I had a warped idea that gay men could love each other more deeply than a man could love a woman. I longed for that 'deep love connection' so I wanted to be a gay boy" (fryurt, detrans female).
• The partner is a prop. Writing about HSTS (Blanchard's "homosexual transsexuals", males attracted to men who transition), one detransitioner says: "It's not that HSTS' are obsessed with straight men, it's that they view straight men as more palatable in comparison to gay men... A lot of HSTS' feel as though their only shot at experiencing romance and love is if they escape from the constraints of male homosexuality and instead endeavour to assimilate into a heterosexual dynamic" (Hedera_Thorn, detrans male).

The GAMP Connection

Some detransitioners note that the men attracted to trans women are often not gay, but have gynandromorphophilia (GAMP) — attraction to feminised males. "The men who are attracted to mtf, to drag queens and to cross dressers are NOT gay... they are GAMP. It is a paraphillia that is encompassing enough to be it's own entire sexual orientation" (cagedbunny83, detrans male). This complicates the meta-attraction picture: if the partners are themselves paraphilic, the "heterosexual" dynamic is not what it appears.

Criticisms

• It may be unfalsifiable. If a person reports attraction to men, that is "meta-attraction." If they report attraction to women, that is "autogynephilia." Every outcome confirms the theory.
• It pathologises genuine bisexuality. Some people are genuinely attracted to both sexes. Calling all same-sex attraction in trans people "meta-attraction" erases real bisexual experience.
• It does not account for orientation change. Some detransitioners report that their attraction shifted over time — from men to women, or vice versa — in ways that do not fit a fixed meta-attraction model.
• The evidence is thin. Meta-attraction is primarily documented in self-reports and Illy's synthesis, not in controlled clinical studies.

Analysis

1. The pattern exists. People who are attracted to others because being desired confirms a cross-sex self-image describe themselves consistently. This is not seriously disputed.

2. The label is interpretive. The same subjective experience — "I want to be with a man as a woman" — can be called meta-attraction, internalised homophobia, or simply a sexual fantasy. None of these interpretations are provable from the inside.

3. It matters clinically. Whether one calls it meta-attraction or something else, a person whose attraction is entangled with a cross-sex self-image deserves honest exploration of that before irreversible interventions. The question "are you attracted to the person, or to the fantasy of being with them as the other sex?" is worth asking.

4. It does not predict outcomes. Meta-attraction does not reliably predict who will be satisfied with transition or who will detransition. It describes motivation, not results.

References

• Illy, P. (2023). Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex. Houndstooth Press.
• Illy, P. (2025). Female Autoandrophilia. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 54(8), 3005–3021. source
• Blanchard, R. (1989). The concept of autogynephilia and the typology of male gender dysphoria. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 177, 616–623.
• Veale, J. F., Clarke, D. E., & Lomax, T. C. (2008). Sexuality of male-to-female transsexuals. Archives of Sexual Behavior.