I'm detransitioning. (FTMTF)
When it was finished, I was left incomplete, broken. I found my identity in Christ, not in gender. My name is Daisy, and I am a woman.
Overview
Daisy Strongin recounts her detransition after years living as a trans man, describing how post-transition relief gave way to crushing regret, a sense of incompleteness, and suicidal despair once her legal and medical steps were complete. She reviews her initial motivations—social dysphoria, envy, and a desire to control others’ perceptions—and explains how her return to Christianity helped her accept her female body and God-given identity, leading her to live again as Daisy, a woman.
Full Video Summary
Daisy Strongin announces that she is detransitioning. She explains that after completing her transition and changing her legal documents, she initially felt relief, but soon began experiencing intrusive thoughts about regret. Around April 2019, these doubts became real and terrifying, manifesting as a sick sinking feeling and a profound sense of incompleteness. The dissonance she felt after transitioning was deeper than what she had felt before, and she came to hate her body not because it looked female, but because altering it had left her feeling incoherent. She realized that even if she had become indistinguishable from a cisgender man, she would have felt empty. During the first several years of her transition, she had been elated by each step—voice changes, top surgery—and had interpreted that elation as proof she was on the right path. But once the process was finished, she felt broken. She became suicidal, believing her only options were to live with regret while performing maleness or to attempt reversal. From April to December 2019, she planned to live with the regret, but the agony was unbearable. She began telling strangers and dates obliquely, unable to voice the truth to those close to her. She reflects that the belief that regret would lead to suicide made the experience far worse, and she believes that without that narrative, she might have learned to live with her dysphoria rather than transitioning. Reviewing her original reasons for transitioning, she says she had wanted to be a boy since early childhood and aligned with the 2015 trans narrative. She had no physical dysphoria, only social dysphoria: a desire to control how others perceived her and to be seen as masculine. She envied the acceptance other trans men received and wanted an intelligible identity. She immersed herself in the trans community and made videos, using her trans identity as a protective poster to shield her real self from scrutiny. Her turn toward Christianity emerged alongside her doubts. She had always believed in God deep down but avoided a personal faith because of its implications. She eventually opened herself to scripture and prayer, feeling the presence of God and realizing she belonged to Him. She emphasizes that she did not detransition merely because she thought being trans was a sin; rather, her regrets and her faith were part of a deeper redemption. She realized she needed to accept herself as God created her, including her essential femaleness and her desire to be a mother and wife. Now aiming to live fully as Daisy by January 2021, she is changing her legal name, rebuilding her wardrobe, and preparing to tell everyone in her life. She concludes by stating that she is a woman, doing this for herself, for others who may need it, and for God.