A Story of Detransition w/ Chloe Cole | The Lila Rose Podcast E33
You're perfect as you are as a woman. The issue isn't your body—it's the way you think of it. If someone had just told me that, I wouldn't be dealing with any of this right now.
Overview
Chloe Cole recounts how childhood social struggles, early puberty, and online communities led her to identify as transgender at age twelve. Medically affirmed rather than psychologically explored, she took puberty blockers and testosterone before undergoing a double mastectomy at fifteen. After realizing transition deepened her distress and cost her the ability to breastfeed, she detransitioned at sixteen. Now an activist, she testifies against pediatric medical transition and urges therapy over hormones and surgery for gender-distressed youth.
Full Video Summary
Chloe Cole grew up in California’s Central Valley as the youngest of five children. She enjoyed a mix of activities, from playing with her sisters’ dolls and dressing up to gaming and playing outside with her older brothers. Socially, she struggled; after being bullied and changing schools, she turned to online art and gaming communities when she received her first computer at age nine and a phone at eleven. On Instagram, she encountered members of the transgender community within fandom and art spaces—mostly girls her age who were nerdy, boyish, and felt they did not fit in. Cole related to them. She had developed early, around age eight or nine, and felt shame about her changing body. She compared herself to sexualized images of women online and concluded that womanhood meant only hardship—periods, pregnancy, assault—so she did not want to be a girl. After questioning her sexuality, she began questioning her gender, eventually believing she had a “male brain” and was meant to be a boy. At twelve, she socially transitioned: she cut her hair, changed her wardrobe, and asked friends and family to use a new name and male pronouns. Her parents were supportive but cautious, and they sought professional help. However, the therapist she saw immediately affirmed her identity without exploring her body image issues, discomfort with puberty, social struggles, or history of being bullied. She had previously been diagnosed with ADHD and medicated, and she suspects she is on the autism spectrum, but says clinicians were reluctant to explore this. Cole began puberty blockers around age thirteen, which she describes as a chemically induced menopause, followed by testosterone a few months later. She was not fully informed about the risks, including fertility loss and pelvic atrophy; she later experienced urinary tract issues and cramps. During this time, older men in online LGBT communities affirmed her identity while exploiting her sexually. She also had fantasies of being male in sexual situations, which she says were never discussed in therapy. At fifteen, during the 2020 lockdowns, she underwent a double mastectomy at Kaiser Permanente. She says the surgery was prompted partly by a sexual assault in eighth grade, after which she began binding. Initially, she felt euphoria, but soon she began missing her feminine appearance. She realized that no identity—male or non-binary—resolved her distress. Learning about motherhood and the importance of breastfeeding helped her understand what she had lost. She stopped testosterone at sixteen, and her periods returned within two months. After detransitioning, she faced harassment from the trans community but found support in detransition circles. She began speaking publicly, testifying before state legislatures and advocating for bans on gender-affirming medical interventions for minors, arguing that children need psychotherapy instead. She now lives with ongoing medical complications from surgery and hormone use, and she is pursuing legal action while hoping one day to have a large family.