Salina (21) stopt transitie van vrouw naar man | De Verandering | EO
I asked the Holy Spirit if He was real and felt overwhelming love. Then I heard: 'You are my beloved daughter.' Laying down my identity as Jay was the hardest thing I've ever done, but now I am free.
Overview
Salina recounts growing up as a tomboy in a broken home, developing hatred for her body in puberty, and starting illegal testosterone while on a long waiting list. After a religious conversion through a girlfriend's Christian family, she heard God call her His beloved daughter during a church prayer. She stopped hormones, detransitioned, and says her bodily distress disappeared. She is now engaged to Stefan and feels genuinely happy living as a woman.
Full Video Summary
Salina was born female after a difficult pregnancy. Her father was proud to have a daughter and bought everything pink. However, her parents' marriage was troubled, with shouting and tension. Amid this difficult home situation, Salina struggled with herself from a young age. She preferred shopping in the boys' section and felt most comfortable in jeans and hoodies. She played outside with boys, getting dirty and painting fences. Her mother initially worried but recalled her own tomboy childhood. In secondary school, Salina developed feelings for girls. When her parents divorced, the conflict escalated, sometimes requiring police intervention. Salina could not process her emotions and began drinking, developed a cannabis addiction, and started self-harming. She wrote a suicide note, which a classmate found and showed to a teacher. Her mother panicked when they could not find her. Professional help was sought. Salina found support in an LGBTI group where she recognized herself in transgender stories. Institutions put her on a waiting list for a diagnosis, but she felt this took too long. She chose the name Jay and asked her mother to use male pronouns. Her mother complied out of love despite her disbelief. Because the waiting lists were so long, Salina obtained testosterone illegally from friends. Her mother was furious, concerned about permanent changes and infertility. Eventually, Salina went to her general practitioner, admitted she had started testosterone illegally, and the doctor provided a legal prescription without involvement from transgender specialists, further angering her mother. Four years later, Salina had stopped transitioning. She explained that during puberty, she increasingly hated her body, wanting no breasts and desiring a more muscular physique and lower voice. Meeting another transgender person made her realize she felt male and was in the wrong body. She bound her breasts. She started illegal testosterone and was thrilled, feeling she could finally be who she was meant to be. Physically, her voice dropped, she grew facial hair, and gained muscle. Psychologically, she could no longer cry, which she initially welcomed. Then she met a girl on TikTok whose family were followers of Jesus. They gave her a Bible, and every page seemed to speak to her. She asked the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself and felt overwhelming love and warmth, convincing her God was real. She began reading the Bible constantly and changed as a person, becoming kinder and softer. While still living as Jay, she felt nagged by the thought of whether she was meant to live for Jesus. She went to church, responded to an altar call, and during the prayer heard: "You are my beloved daughter and you are good as you are. You don't need to change yourself anymore." She was devastated because she still felt like a man. After two weeks of struggle, she told her parents she would live as Salina again and stopped the hormones. She called it the hardest thing she had ever done, laying down her identity. Now she feels good as a woman. The feeling of being in the wrong body is gone. She is engaged to Stefan, who saw her beauty when she had short hair and made her feel safe and radiant as a woman. Her mother, though not religious, says God gave her daughter back.