Derailed Development | a Detrans Story, with Abel Garcia
I would have never been a woman. I would have just been a caricature of what I thought a woman was. I was just cosplaying as a woman.
Overview
Abel Garcia recounts being affirmed as a trans woman by an LGBT therapist who explored no other issues. After sexual trauma orchestrated by his father, Garcia transitioned with estrogen and implants, but realized he could never be a woman after the trans community rejected him for wanting to be a cop. Following alcoholism, depression, and obstructive clinicians, he found a therapist who helped him accept himself, had his implants removed in 2020, and now lives with physical damage while advocating to protect minors from medical transition.
Full Video Summary
Abel Garcia grew up in California as the son of Mexican immigrants. His father worked constantly, including as a truck driver who was frequently away, leaving Garcia feeling emasculated and without purpose. Shy and quiet, he felt unable to live up to the masculine norms of his culture. He first encountered transgenderism through YouTube videos in late middle school or early high school, planting doubts about his identity. In college, seeking direction, he visited a therapist at an LGBT Center. Despite his uncertainty, she immediately affirmed him as a trans woman and provided a letter to transition without exploring other potential issues. Though he initially intended to take things slowly, his resolve hardened after his father discovered his plans and took him to Mexico, where he was coerced into a sexual encounter at a brothel in an attempt to "cure" him. Traumatized and desperate to escape his body, Garcia began taking estrogen and spironolactone, socially transitioned for roughly four years, and received breast implants after about a year and a half—breaking a private promise to wait five years. During this period, Garcia became a trans activist, but the community rejected him around 2018 when they learned he aspired to enter law enforcement. While recovering from implant surgery and reeling from this rejection, his doubts crystallized. He realized that no amount of surgery or hormones could make him a woman; he would only ever be a caricature of what he imagined a woman to be. When he sought help to reverse his transition, his first therapist claimed unresolved childhood trauma was the only issue and refused to support detransition. A second therapist likewise resisted, citing unknown risks of reversing course. Eventually, Garcia connected with a third therapist through a fellow detransitioner named Walter. This therapist helped him accept himself as he was without imposing any ideology. After a year of navigating insurance and medical approvals, Garcia had his breast implants removed in December 2020. Medically, Garcia reports lasting damage: numbness in his chest, fat redistribution, genital atrophy causing urinary difficulties, possible sterility, memory fog, rapidly declining eyesight, and muscle spasms. He also battled alcoholism and severe depression during his transition, describing daily internal torment over his choices. Though he has returned to the Catholic Church, he struggles to accept divine forgiveness, feeling he must first help others avoid the same path by speaking out. Having moved from California to Texas, Garcia took a break from public advocacy in April to focus on his mental health. Previously, he had spoken at rallies and worked with Texas legislators to pass Senate Bill 14, which he says protects minors under eighteen from medical and surgical transition. Looking ahead, he plans to return to school and become a school police officer to monitor and protect children. At twenty-six, he continues working toward self-acceptance, acknowledging that while the gate is open, he remains his own warden.