TRANZYCJA I DETRANZYCJA: HISTORIA CYRYLA WILCZYŃSKIEGO! (English Audio)
I had to live as a woman to finally become a man. That journey was my therapy. Try social transition first, or you may never escape your doubts.
Overview
Cyryl Wilczyński spent roughly three to four years transitioning after moving from Siberia to Poland at age eighteen, including one year on hormones and active LGBT activism, before detransitioning to live again as a man. He now views the experience as a necessary exploration that resolved his lingering doubts, taught him empathy for women, and helped him overcome childhood trauma linking masculinity to abuse. He encourages questioning youth to try social transition first without rushing into medical steps, while noting that rigid gender norms pressure people into unnecessary medicalization.
Full Video Summary
Cyryl Wilczyński grew up in Siberia and says he remembers seeing himself as a girl from early childhood. Surrounded primarily by women, he developed the belief that all men were abusers after witnessing significant sexual and physical violence as a child. During puberty, when he began to feel attraction to men, he concluded that it would be easier to be a woman attracted to men than a gay man, as the latter broke heteronormative expectations in a conservative culture that lacked the openness he later found in Poland. At age eighteen or nineteen, after moving to Poland, he began a social transition. He started wearing women’s clothing, changed his pronouns among friends at university in Słupsk, and eventually sought medical transition. With financial help from his university, he underwent psychological and psychiatric assessments at the HAK Therapy Center in Poznań and began hormone therapy, which he continued for one year. He noticed subtle physical changes, including fat redistribution, skin changes, and a reduction in body and facial hair. During this period, he also became involved in LGBT activism and participated in marches, publicly advocating for the community. Although he felt comfortable for a time, thoughts of detransition persisted throughout the process. He grew increasingly uncomfortable in heterosexual relationships where he felt subordinate to men as a trans woman, and he felt the social pressure exceeded that of being a gay man. A decisive factor was his realization that surgical transition might mean losing the physical sensations he valued as a male, coupled with the growing understanding that not every man is an abuser. After roughly three to four years of living as a woman, he decided to detransition and return to living as a man. Today, Cyryl looks back on the experience largely positively, describing it as a necessary form of therapy. He says that without trying transition, he would have remained trapped in constant doubt and would not have become the man he is now. The experience taught him deep empathy for women and exposed him to catcalling and sexualization. He advises young people questioning their identity to consider trying social transition first, possibly without medical intervention, and to surround themselves with accepting people. He also speculates that without rigid societal gender divisions, medical transition might be less necessary for some. Currently focused on healing from PTSD, he is not pursuing relationships but remains open to love in the future after completing his personal work.