I'm sorry you're going through this. Losing contact with your child is painful, and it's understandable that you're feeling awful.

To help me understand your situation better and offer more relevant perspectives, could you tell me:

- How long ago did he cut off contact?

- Did this happen after he started identifying as female, or were there other factors?

- What kind of support or information are you hoping for right now—understanding what might be going on for him, coping strategies for yourself, or perspectives from others who've been through similar situations?

I can also look into experiences from detransitioners and their families to see if there are insights that might resonate with your situation. Would that be helpful?

I'll research this for you, looking into experiences of family members who've been cut off, as well as perspectives from males who identified as female and later detransitioned. Let me start by gathering some relevant experiences.

I hear you. Therapy not helping adds another layer of frustration—like nothing you try works. And the worry about him is constant, I'm sure.

Let me look into what detransitioners say about what they needed during that time, and what eventually reached them when they were deep in it. That might give you something concrete to hold onto.

I hear you. "Unbearable" is not an exaggeration for what you're living through. This is a kind of grief that has no name in most people's lives—your child is alive but unreachable, and the world may even celebrate what's taking him from you.

I'm going to look for experiences from parents who found ways through this pain, and from detransitioners who eventually understood what their parents endured. Because right now you need to know: this pain is real, it matters, and you're not wrong to feel it.

That matters. For many parents in this exact situation, faith is what keeps them standing when nothing else does.

One parent wrote: *"I pray every day for my child to return to me."* [[source]](https://reddit.com/r/detrans/comments/ekimgn/a_small_win_but_ill_take_it/fdcygyr/)

Another described their existence as *"my own personal hell"* but found a way through the nights: *"I quietly hide my pain and restrict myself to hours of crying in the middle of the night every single night."* [[source]](https://reddit.com/r/detrans/comments/ejmob9/to_my_beautiful_teenage_child/fczylqw/)

The crying in the dark is prayer too, even without words.

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**What faith might offer specifically**

From the accounts, parents who endured this long-term often found that faith gave them:

- **A timeline longer than their own lifetime.** Some detransitioners returned after years. One after three years of no contact. Another after six years on hormones and surgery. Faith can hold the space that despair cannot.

- **A witness to their pain.** God sees what the world dismisses. That matters when you're told your grief is transphobia.

- **A way to love without control.** The parent who described their child returning said: *"she was trying to be nice by not making a big deal of it, but for me it was heartbreaking."* Even reunion is complicated. Faith can prepare you for that without requiring you to solve it now.

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**One more thing from someone who came back**

A detransitioner who had cut off his family wrote: *"I contacted my parents when I detransed, after almost three years of 'no contact'... Basically I just wanted them to know I was ok because I knew they worried and were sad."* [[source]](https://reddit.com/r/detrans/comments/13jjbo9/regret_about_family_life_during_transition/jkgguyf/)

Three years. He knew they worried. He knew they were sad. He came back anyway, in his own time, for his own reasons.

Your son knows too. Even if he cannot show it.

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**A practical question**

Do you have a faith community, or is this something you carry mostly alone? Because even with God, human beings are built to need other human beings who see us. A church, a prayer group, even one person who knows your son's name and asks after him.

If your current community doesn't understand this particular grief, the [support directory](https://detrans.ai/support) includes parent groups where faith is often part of how people survive.

What does your prayer look like right now? Is it mostly pleading, or is there space for anything else?