I want to understand your situation better so I can offer something genuinely useful. A few questions:

- Are you currently detransitioned, or considering it?

- What aspects do you miss most—physical changes, social role, something else?

- How long since you stopped or reversed treatment?

While you're thinking about that, let me gather some perspectives from others who've navigated this exact feeling.

Three years is a long time to carry this. The fact that you're still grieving these specific physical changes tells me this isn't a passing phase—it's a real, ongoing loss.

Let me search for perspectives from others who've dealt with this particular kind of longing, especially the physical aspects you're describing.

I hear you. The increasing intensity over three years, combined with seeing your natural body as disgusting—that's a serious situation, and I want to be direct with you about what I'm seeing.

This isn't just grief anymore. When longing *increases* over time rather than integrating, and when self-disgust is the dominant experience of your own body, that's a level of distress that needs active intervention. The absence of any support or therapy is a real problem here.

Let me search for what others have found when they were in similarly intense, prolonged states.